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Submitted by Rick on Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:30am.
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Long live citizen journalism...

Long live citizen journalism...


"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice..."   Lenny Bruce
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It's awesome that they put

It's awesome that they put this together (more than I could ever manage with a recorder and question sheet), but I nearly lost it laughing more than once. A paddy wagon? Are paddy wagons even used outside the northeastern US?

I don't want to just attack the video, because I think it's really cool it was even put together. But being not too far removed from the age-group presented on the video (I assume most are between 14-18), the stories which involve myself or associates being accused of an action generally weren't too far from the actual truth.

It's like the Chris Rock skit: if you're pulling money from an ATM at four in the morning, you're up to no good.

EDIT: I hate when people give vague accounts of a story when it's supposed to be first hand information. I can still give you every detail of every encounter I've had with law enforcement from when I was in high school (which were minimal. A couple of times for speeding and a handful for parties that were broken up). These stories are at least five years old and in some cases, older.

If anyone from the video is reading, you would do yourself an enormous benefit by filling in the "or somethings" with what actually happened. When you leave a lot open for interpretation or assumption on the part of the audience, you may not like the result.

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Loved it!

I love how this video starts with "adults don't trust us" and immediately goes into a lot of copwatch stories. The striking thing for me is that all of the stories here parallel those told to me by homeless men and women aged 40-60 as well. The police are correctly described as being nosey, gruff, intolerant, accusatory, inflexible, wrong, and self righteous. So were your parents, if you think about it. It's called patriarchy and it demeans and distorts all of our relationships.

I can appreciate TFI's comment that the more details, the better for your believability. Unfortunately, the details and their articulation are not the point. The feeling of being watched, accused, and distrusted is the point - not whether someone was truly innocent or truly guilty. If you're guilty of lying to Mom about going to the library, and on the way to your friend's party you're accosted by a police officer who thinks you owe her an ID (Washington has no 'stop and ID' law requiring you to give up an ID) then your indignation is still genuine, and not at all diminished.

Whose job is it to keep you accountable? If you're high on the hierarchy, there are fewer people who can 'ride herd' on your behavior. For teens, that means that most adults they know (teachers, parents, employers, police) and almost all their peers are potential agents of surveilance and control. As you get a little older, the number of people who watch your behavior gets smaller until you lose your competence, or your regard for what others think about you. Thus, the archetype of the mean old lady who says what she thinks of anyone, and cares little for any backtalk. She's outlived any need to give a crap what you think of her.

But when you're young, it seems that everyone has advice and judgement and consequences for you. Especially if the person in question has a badge.

This all applies to anyone without a private place to hang out - but most especially those who don't have privacy due to economic reasons.

"The greatest hoax played on the masses is that their individual voice is nothing amidst the cacophany of world events." - enpen, an Olyblogger (2006)

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Drew, you sound like a 12

Drew, you sound like a 12 y/o that doesn't want to be told what to do. Toe the line, wait till you are 18, then move out. Of course parents/cops/grandparents/adults are going to keep an eye on you, teens do stupid things. How might I know that? I was a teen at one point in time, I had teenage friends, we shared stories and most, but not all, of us survived. You can call it whatever society you want to, say that it demeans and distorts relationships, the funny thing is that some of us did a little rebelling and still have a great relationship with people in authority....we grew up.
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Good lord

lol

I can't help but say this, but if you are runnin around lookin like the uni-bomber, and tapping on the state patrol's office window, I'd be inclined to call the police, if I were a cop I'd sure as heck ask what you were doing. It's called being proactive, you fit a description that is shady, if you want to be treated differently try dressing more appropriately.

Ok, first rule of school: Don't bring white substances to school, you will be asked what the heck it is. If you weren't asked I would be worried

Here's another: Pocket-knives are a no-no at school, you cannot bring them into a weapon-free zone. If you want to blame someone blame the clintons. It's the cops job to call you on it when another student notices you with a knife.

Ok, guy that complains about not being able to hang out anywhere without being hassled. Go to someone's home! WTH is with kids in Olympia wanting to stand on the street corners? Jeebus I'm feeling old! When I was in high school ( 8 years ago ) when we wanted to hang out, we went to a movie if we had money, if we didn't we went to a friends house.

Now I'm further into the movie and he's talking about sleeping in bushes and under bridges. Is this a homeless teen video, or a teen video? One minute we're talking about kids getting arrested for hanging outside of school the next minute we've moved to sleeping under bridges.

Trust is something that is earned, not freely given, by many people. Youth will always have a harder time earning trust particularly with people they don't know. Everyone remembers their youth and how many stupid decisions they made, or how many they observed. Your job as youth is to stick it out until you hit the adult phase.

If you are tired of being harrassed by cops, change the group you hang out with. Change the venue that you hang out at. If you don't want to change these things that's great, but you will be watched. You fit a stereotype and as long as you fit that stereotype you will be scrutinized.

Oh, and I like the concept, the young woman who talked initially in the video makes sense. Putting out the message of "Gosh, look at the crap we put up with." Isn't going to get you a whole lot of sympathy from authorities. If you want to change the perceptions society has of you, try showing what you do that is good. What makes you unique, what do you do to keep yourself out of trouble etc. Many teens went through this, many teens avoided this ( ie kept their natural hair color, didn't smoke, didn't hang out with kids who did etc. ) This is what teens go through, consider it a "growing experience".

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I don't think that your

I don't think that your comments are very helpful to the youth who created and spoke in this film. It is unfortunate that you cannot value this video for what it is - an outlet for some extremely frustrated and harrased young people to talk about what frustrates them, which is, in fact, attitudes like yours. I too am frustrated by your attitude. It is very unsupportive.  I don't see how biting sarcasm and cutting remarks will help these young people change all of these things (where they hang out, who they hang out with) that you demand them to do  so that they can avoid harassment. You're saying it's all their fault that they experience discrimination and stereotyping? I didn't make this film but I was lucky enough to witness it's creation. I think the filmmaker did an incredible job, tackled a very difficult issue and one that meant a lot to her. Whatever flaws this movie has, it expresses something that is important to a large number of young people in our community, and I  at least, appreciate that she had the courage to tackle it. She interviewed youth from high school, from foster care and from the street community for this video. The point is that most youth are disempowered, disrespected, mistrusted and misinterpreted regardless of whether they are homeless or not.  I can't believe how many believe that teens shouldn't be trusted. That attitude is part of what creates untrustworthy teens.
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Don't mind Norm

It seems what he mostly loves is guns and owns a good many of them.  He doesn't not understand women vis a vis a recent quote "Y'know, reading through this whole thread just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I feel that if it weren't for procreation men and women would never date. I read threads like this and think, "Yeah! That was like my last relationship!" and I begin to wonder, "Why on earth do people ever get married, let alone have children?" I can't come up with a good answer.".  He has problems with the homeless. (actually he has no problems with the homeless, just their behavior).  Norm is also quick to anger when confronted by the weakness of his arguments.  Often his response to people is they just need to get laid.  Now he seems to have issues with the yourng people of Olympia. Poor confused fellow.

"I would make it impossible for the covetous and avaricious to utterly impoverish the poor. The rich can take care of themselves."
^@^
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Keep trying crenshaw. You

Keep trying crenshaw. You still don't know, please don't pretend to. You obviously seem to have some beef with me and that's fine. As for the weakness of my arguments, you really didn't point out any in this thread. As for the other thread you have yet to respond to my comment. For some reason you have this amazing power to know who I am better than myself, better than the people who send me person messages saying, "What's crenshaw's problem?".

 If this is something you can't let go maybe we should go see a therapist together. It could be like a couples therapy thing for people that aren't getting along well but aren't really couples. Sound silly? All this drama you drag up is on the same scale.

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Paging Crenshaw, please come to the courtesy phone

What is going on? Your post on Norm seems particularly pointed and even mean.

From my perspective, most everyone here down deep has good hearts and means well. Even when we maybe try to yank each other's chains sometimes. Norm and I aren't going to agree on everything, though with conversation we'd probably find we agree on more than we thought. And his aren't the only posts that sometimes push my buttons. But he's a good guy. As is TFI and OC and others. I'm sure that sometimes they are jerks just like the rest of us sometimes are.

We could celebrate our differences and commonalities even amidst trying to knock some sense and compassion into each others thick heads.
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First, I didn't put enough

First, I didn't put enough positive in there. I think the video was very well put-together, the filming was great, and it was nice to see so many people involved with something they are passionate about. I think it should have stuck with school aged kids and shouldn't have branched into homelessness ( that deserves another video entirely ) but all in all, it was presented nicely.

That said, if anyone can look at my post above, and tell me where I'm incorrect, not politically, but in reality, please point it out. The whole video talks about youth not being given the respect they deserve, yet the young folks in the video explain these stories that are pretty silly things that you would expect a teenager to do.

As a teen, you will always be looked at differently. Any time you look different than the average joe/jane kid you are going to amplify that. You want my support, here it is: Read the above post that I made and think about it before you jump me over not being nice. This was presented on this website for opinions, dialogue, etc. What I am providing is hard facts. I'm not "demand"ing they do anything to avoid harassment. I'm simply telling them that as a teenager they are already a target for harassment because of their age-group. Stacking on things like, taking pocket knives to school, putting sugar in a ziploc baggy for school, smoking downtown when you look like you are 13, these are only going to add to that harassment.

I think every adult, myself included, that I've ever talked with on the subject would never want to go back to their teens. Early twenties sure, but not their teens. As I said before, it's only temporary, you just have to put up with this until you get to the adult phase. Don't smoke, don't smoke dope, don't argue with the cops, listen to what your parents/guardians say, and don't hang out with the bad crowds, the ride will go much smoother.

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Good Lord....Lord

I'm going to have to side with Norm here for the general proposition that  you're not oppressed or suffering as an entire group.  I commend the artist endeavor, as I'm a fan of documentaries.  Bravo.  But honestly, only certain youth face adversity.  Those are the poor, marginilized, underrepresented, or non-whites.  There are plenty of youth who have it well off.  With all due respect, stop acting like the world should give you a handout, or else it's a self fulfilling prophecy.  Ask any oppressed society and they will tell you the way they made it out was not complaining but taking action.  But again, you're not oppressed.  If you want to see someone who faces discrimination, go ask a Native American or an immigrant.  Now they face daily challenges.  I saw one black youth in the film.

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*applause*

.

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Ditto.

Ditto.

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Missed the point, boys.

Norm, et al.: I'd just like to point out (again) that it is not really helpful to root out every perceived inaccuracy in a video like this, but to look for the deeper message that the Rose was trying to convey by making it. She, and many like her, feel dismissed (oh, the irony), mistrusted, abused, and discriminated against. You can either accept that at face value, or you can spend time quibbling about pocketknives and sugar in a baggy. To me, it seems clear that society is not constructed for teens. In fact, it is constructed to be difficult for teens. That's the message.

Is it something about blogging that always makes you guys so freakin' suspicious about everything, or are you just born that way?


When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion. -C.P. Snow
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"The web works because it's broken."

So sayeth David Weinberger. So maybe some of us have to be suspicious, we are filling our niche on the web. Or not.

Reminds me of this bit also from Weinberger:

...the Web is a mess, as organized as an orgy. It consists of voices proclaiming whatever they think is worth saying, trying on stances, experimenting with extremes, being wrong in public, making fun of what they hold sacred in their day jobs, linking themselves into permanent coalitions and drive-by arguments, savoring the rush that you feel when you realize that you don't have to be the way you've been.


On a more related note, one of my personal frustrations when it comes to communication is in trying to encourage the other person to hear what I think is the deeper message. Sometimes I am certain that even when a group of us all speak English, we really are speaking various different languages. Some of us pay heed to the deep rumbles, the underlying flow of communication, the tone and melody. Others delight in knifing out individual pieces to examine and critique.

Blogging can be akin to tossing juicy chunks of meat to wolfies. Never know what will be shredded or dragged home to a lair for savoring.
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Great Post Sarah

Very interesting

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Thats the fun

"Blogging can be akin to tossing juicy chunks of meat to wolfies. Never know what will be shredded or dragged home to a lair for savoring."

And that is one thing that makes blogging fun.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy.

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She, and many like her, feel

She, and many like her, feel dismissed (oh, the irony), mistrusted, abused, and discriminated against.

Who didn't when they were a teenager? Again, Norm and I seem to be pretty close to this age group (or at least not far enough removed to have forgotten our experiences) and had roughly the same opportunities these individuals have.

Here's a personal story: Back in my senior year of high school, I was driving back home shortly after 2 a.m. from a friend's house (we'd being doing the usual: rotting our brains on the PS2). A Tumwater police car pulled behind me and followed me (I say "followed," but I really have no proof of such. I only assume he was following me because he made two of the same turns I did into a residential area. And yes, I made those turns to see if I was being followed or not). He broke off and I went on my way.

There's a few reasons I assume I was being "followed": My age, the time at night I was out, and my car (it definately looked like something that would be used by someone on meth. Let's just say I banged it up a little bit during my early years of driving).

Speaking from a strictly pragmatic standpoint, isn't that what society would want law enforcement to do? Right now on my college campus there is a temporary memorial to those who have died in alcohol-related accidents. Doesn't society want their law enforcement to be proactive, especially when it comes to DUIs (because if you want to talk about organizations with a lot of lobby power, MADD would be a prime example)?

So that night I wouldn't have been cited for a Minor in Consumption (or worse). But I am not going to sit here and make a plea that I am an angel who did not warrant the suspicious eye every once in a while. On another night the story could have been different. Like Norm said, we all did stupid stuff growing up. Most of us pulled ourselves together, recognized how to operate within the confines of society and most importantly, grew up.

So really the issue here isn't the actions these youth allegedly did or did not do. It's how they react afterwards. To myself, and evidently others, I saw the statements in the video as a giant I didn't do it, I'm never guilty, people pick on me for no reason. As if growing up in an upper-middle class community, largely made up of WASPs, is a disadvantaged demographic.

That's my two cents. I hope the people who put this video together are able to use their talents later in life, maybe even be fortunate enough to be compensated for their talents. Take your life lessons and learn from them. Also, if you're constantly being accused of something and you can look yourself in the mirror and know you did absolutely nothing wrong, you might want to re-evaluate the company you keep.

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Quote: "To me, it seems

Quote: "To me, it seems clear that society is not constructed for teens. In fact, it is constructed to be difficult for teens. That's the message."

It is a system of repression. Of course it is, the same could be said of toddlers. We build a fence so that they can't play on the streets. We put screens around stoves so they don't burn their lil fingers, we make pill bottles that require a degree in physics to get open so that pills aren't ingested by little mouths.

Teens are at a crossroad, they are no longer children, they are not yet adults. The system/society has deemed that until they are 18 they are essentially property of their parents/guardians. I have always felt it was done to keep teens safer, maybe I'm misplacing this. Maybe we are too over-protective? I know if it were my child I wouldn't want him/her hanging out downtown on the street corner just so some weird guy could ask for sex. Maybe that's why I'm not a parent yet.

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I think Secret Comm kind of hit the nail

on the head.

From a production stand point the vid is done very well.

The content, is nothing really new. When I was a teenager, I thought many of the the same things.

And I agree with what Norm posted.

But Secret really got it right. Capital High, where many of these kids go to school, are really spoiled kids from upper middle class homes. Many of them get things handed to them on a silver platter. And most have never experianced some of the real problems of todays youth that come from poor communities.

I would like some kids from the poor communities of LA, or NY, to watch this video and see what they think. I bet they would find it laughable and more like whining than anything else.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy.

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Ohmygod

Capital High, where many of these kids go to school, are really spoiled kids from upper middle class homes. Many of them get things handed to them on a silver platter. And most have never experianced some of the real problems of todays youth that come from poor communities.

Oh my god, OC, do really really believe this? Truly? Because I and others then have many stories to tell you.

Talk with the folks at Stonewall Youth. Realize that most incidents of bullying and abuse go unreported. Talk with the Safe Schools Coalition. Talk with the school staff, with the kids themselves, with anyone who didn't make it through. Capital High is not a walk in the park.

Then look into their home lives. Wealthy class or not, you certainly will find some dysfunction junction most anywhere. Having wealthy parents doesn't mean you are immune from abuse, from being kicked out of the house for being gay, for dealing with alcoholic parents, from witnessing and experiencing domestic violence.

And then there is the fact that not all kids come from the elite class. Many deal with poverty, not all have enough to eat, not all can afford to go on field trips. Check out the teen pregnacy and teen suicide attempts too.

And why the f*ck should we ever compare traumas? After awhile this is what it sounds like to me: "Oh, you all are just whining, you don't have it bad, not nearly as bad as people in L.A., in NYC, where I grew up, in a war zone.". How does that help us see anything clearly? If I come across a person on the ground, shot in the shoulder, bleeding, am I going to babble on about how she shouldn't be complaining because she didn't get blown up by a land mine? Bah.

Yes, I know some kids, some people in general, are brats and bitches and bastards. Some people do have personality disorders that can make us wanna slap them upside the head and wake them up. But truly, there is more to the experience of kids at Capital High and elsewhere than most any of us have any clue of.

Yes, it would be grand if people who are blessed by good fortune would be grateful and well behaved. But we humans keep on being the messy conflicted creatures we are. More power to us. Trust me, it ain't all cream puffs and bon bons out at Capital High.
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I totally agree with what

I totally agree with what you are saying Sarah - it drives me nuts when people say that they want their kids going to Olympia or Capitol because they don't have problems at those schools.  However - they still do have it better in a lot of ways.  I promise you that a group of kids walking by the campus of Olympia or Capitol highschool is a lot less likely to get the hairy eyeball from people than a group of kids out at Timberline or River Ridge.  It's just different and I'm not saying that the kids don't have hardships there but a lot of them really do have no idea what it means to struggle.  There is a definite bias between the different areas and I'm sorry but those kids are treated differently and I would say much better than the kids over where Terry teaches.  I will have to check up on this but I think that if you were to look at the percentages of kids living in poverty/parent in jail/abuse survivors the numbers are going to not even be close between Capitol and Timberline. 

"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something."

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What OG said......

...yeah. I agree. Although here is another layer to this: I spoke to a woman awhile back on the bus who had just helped move her daughter from Capital High to Timberline. Her daughter is identified as biracial and Capital was extremely stressful. She is thriving now at Timberline.
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Is she in choir?  =)  I

Is she in choir?  =)  I love the mix of kids at Timberline.  They are really great kids over there but I might be biased!   

"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something."

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Dang, you have to replace a hard drive and look what happens

Wow! This thread took off, and to enter into the conversation now would futile.

But Sarah, I have to address your comments a bit here.

First I said MANY of the kids at Capital are upper middle class, not all. In-fact we have groups that go there that are some of the poorest as well. But I deal with the "rich" kids as a cop in that beat far more than the poor kids.

Also, I wasn't saying that the trauma, (none of what these kids talked about seemed to be trauma)(although there is talk of rape later in the thread, maybe I missed something in the vid), these kids were reporting on was not important to them. But in the grand scheme of what goes on with bad things happening to teenagers in other cities, this stuff they are reporting is weak, almost laughable.

As far as bullying, that has gone on for ages. I experianced bullying as a kid. My father was on the fast track in his career during my school years. I went to 9 different schools in my school years. I went to a different high school each year of my high school years. So I was the new kid on campus frequently. And I got tested by the bullies often. But I dealt with it. Stood up to the "power on the playground", and it made me a stronger person. I wouldn't change a bit of it. I really believe we are growing a nation of weak and cowardly, and that starts on the playground. Bullying these days can cross the line. Knives and guns are coming into the power struggle, and that is a bad thing. But a good ol' fist fight on the school grounds is not necessarily a bad thing.

My oldest son went to Capital. I can tell you it was a milk toast school based on his experiance. But he also did some time in the Shelton school dist. He will tell you the same thing I have said here, and he brings an insider perspective.

My main point was even though the vid was well put together, the theme missed its mark. MOST kids in this community have no idea what struggle, conflict, or being a victim is like. Have a kid from some of the areas TFI talks about do the same kind of vid, and I'm sure many here would understand trauma.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy.

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OC

Damn, you did use the word "many", you are right. But still.

My main point was even though the vid was well put together, the theme missed its mark. MOST kids in this community have no idea what struggle, conflict, or being a victim is like. Have a kid from some of the areas TFI talks about do the same kind of vid, and I'm sure many here would understand trauma.

  • Why would one video have to do everything?
  • Who are we ultimately to judge whether a kid is going through struggle or conflict?
  • Does trauma and conflict have to meet our definitions before we can agree that they are going through what they are going through?
  • I understand that experience varies but ultimately shouldn't the focus be on what the young person says is happening to/with them, not on our own judgements and opinions?
  • How on earth is it helpful to tell a youth that because X someplace else is going through a seemingly more dramatic experience, that they really then have no reason to feel what they feel?
  • Some people, including youth, do lie, do manipulate, do fake it. Most don't. Why not have a culture where more people can feel safer talking about their experience, rather than less?
  • Doesn't telling a person "Oh you don't have it so bad." equal telling them "Shut up."?
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I guess I'm having a problem

writing. I'm not trying to take away from the vid. I just got the sense that the vid was being glorified more than it should be. I have seen many horrors done against youth. So maybe I'm a bit cynical or jaded when I look at the vid. And for that reason, maybe I was saying shut up.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy.

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Other side

For all my fierceness about these issues, I usually eventually can see another side, I can glimpse another perspective. Or at least hopefully admit that everyone has the right to their own opinions based on their own experiences.

I suppose it is a paradox: I'm strongly behind the idea of not comparing traumas, yet at the same time there is a need for triage of all forms. Sometimes we do have to make judgement calls, we do have to compare things, we have to choose priorities.
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How on earth is it helpful

How on earth is it helpful to tell a youth that because X someplace else is going through a seemingly more dramatic experience, that they really then have no reason to feel what they feel?

The experience of growing up in urban Los Angeles isn't "seemingly" more dramatic. It is more dramatic and far more hopeless than anyone attending the Olympia School District could ever imagine. I'm surprised Crenshaw doesn't harp on this point and almost wish we could drop kids from Olympia off in certain cities and say, "Fly little chick-a-dees!" My guess is their perspective of the "struggle" in Olympia would be far more different.

I mean, if I were to come out and talk about my "struggles" in life (and yes, I have had some traumatic, earth-shattering experiences), I would hope people would tell me to suck it up and point to the kid in urban America who is worried about getting killed (literally) for walking into the wrong neighborhood while headed to school.

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by that logic...

...we should be telling kids in American ghettos and barrios to "suck it up, at least you don't live in Darfur."  The point here is that trauma is not a comparative experience, it's individualized.  If an individual arrives at the point of comparison and finds it helpful/instructive/liberating/inoculating as a part of the individual healing experience, then more power to the individual.  But to throw that in somebody else's face?  That's ridiculous.  If we abide by that reductionist rationale of "look how good you have it compared to..." then we might be able to find one or two people in the world for whom we can say, "oh, I'm sorry, you really do have it badly and I know you have it badly because nobody has it worse."  The rest of the world would then be left to internalize their grief...joy.

"
Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart."
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I must know: Do you

I must know: Do you sympathize with celebrities when they bring their "struggle" before the public? Because I'll be honest, I turn the TV off. It's like Laguna Beach or The OC, when they do episodes which are glorified after-school specials about how rough it is being a teenager. As if it's difficult growing up upper-class and white.

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heh

I don't watch t.v. and I rarely read anything about celebrities.  I'm not particularly convinced that doing so is a good use of my time.  As far as those shows are concerned; listening to a kid who is abused at home/school/church/etc. is a bit of a different league, insofar as I'm concerned.

"It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing."
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Or the reverse of your logic enpen

we should hold our 12 year old and cry with them because they have to do their homework before they go outside and play.

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy.

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Warning: I'm about to get snide

I'm fairly certain what you mean by reverse is reductio ad absurdum.  That being the case, as the psychiatric definition of trauma is "an experience that produces psychological injury or pain", if a child did indeed experience trauma due to homework I think it would behoove the child's future academic career if you got to the root of that trauma (is the teacher belittling the kid in class, is there a class bully who beats the kid every time s/he answers with the correct response, etc.).  But if you're addressing a kid who whines and moans and groans because s/he would rather be out playing than finishing a problem set, then we're not actually dealing with a logical equivalent and thus your attempt to take my statement to an absurdity is rendered null. 

"It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant fact it is too."
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The thing that gets me...

...in what I'm hearing from you guys is that just because it was the same when you were a teen, nothing should be any different now. Wouldn't you have liked it if there had been safe and supportive places to be when you were a teen? What Rose's video tells me is that this is an important way in which our society is broken (and has been broken for a long time). Kids like to party, so why don't we figure out a way for that to happen that is not so risky? If teens could actually go somewhere just for them, and felt comfortable in doing so, then there wouldn't be so many driving deaths, drug od's and other petty crime. But this would require the community actually getting it together to create a truly interesting space that was specifically devoted to teens, instead of expecting them to live between the cracks in society.

It seems to me that this could be done in a much better way, and the excuse of "it was hard for me too" doesn't really move us forward.


When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion. -C.P. Snow
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I agree, what I was pointing

I agree, what I was pointing out is the way it is now, and what they can change as individuals to avoid the treatment they receive. I was going for the immediate solution ( conform ) you are going for the long-term solution ( make change ). I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all.

 

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a lot of issues

Oh so much to type, so little time left in my nap-break.

First of all, Sarah and Rick's points seem two sides of the same Truth coin.  Comparing trauma is a worthless exercise and doing so only maintains a status quo that doesn't actually attempt to get to the root of the problem.  Do these kids have it badly?  Not really.  Not when they have the ability, access and means to put together a documentary about the Olympia teen experience.  Does that mean we should blow off the message?  That would be just another mistake.  On that note, despite Norm and TFI's recent H.S. alum status, I don't imagine either of you had to put up with people asking you what your going rate on the street is, or accusing you of prostitution.  More than just about any other part of that documentary, that bothered me.

That out of the way, a lot of problems exist in the teenage experience in America.  It is typically a time of growing independence highlighted by the search for self amidst a sea of expressive possibilities, the average teen in America is far more techno-literate than Jane and Joe Adult (particularly problematic given the rapidity of modern technological change) and the exploration desire finally catches up the physical and social abilities to do so.  Meanwhile back at the ranch most adults are worried about their jobs, their debts, their kids, their private property, their, their, their, their, etc.  Teenagers represent rapid and unintelligible change in America.  It's the unintelligible we need to work on.  If we expect developing semi-rational minds to respect what came before then we as a community need to work at allowing them to invest their time and energy in this world instead of further cutting back on recreation centers.  We do this through community promotion of the arts and recreation and community development of apprenticeship programs for people w/out the means and/or inclination to go the University route.

And that's all I can type now...

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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I actually chose not to

I actually chose not to comment on that part of the video ( propositioning teens downtown who have pink hair ) because I found it disturbing also. I couldn't think of anything constructive to say, and the only thing I could think at all was, "Kick the Fu*&er in the nuts".

So no I wasn't propositioned for sex on the streets while a teen. I chose not to focus on that part of the video though because it cause some internal agitation that I didn't want to spew onto the blog.

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I was surprised anyone asked

I was surprised anyone asked her to prostitute also and found it disturbing. She should have called either the authorities or some "hard hittin'" guy friends.

With that said: if multiple people make the same statement/request, it's time to re-evaluate yourself, the company you keep and the places you frequent.

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what?

"With that said: if multiple people make the same statement/request, it's time to re-evaluate yourself, the company you keep and the places you frequent."

Funny.  I thought it meant we should evaluate our culture of misogyny, stereotypes and abuse.  I guess by your reckoning people should strive to be what the mass wants them to be?  So long 
Curie, Einstein, Feynman, Smith, etc., etc., etc.  Sometimes I wonder if you just type without thinking of the logical conclusions of your statements, or if these are indeed your firmly held principles of existence, TFI.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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Reversal

I think, again, this is an immediate response vs. long-term goal.

Question for you: Your daughter is 16 y/o. She comes home crying because some A$$wipe stuffed a $20 into her bustier and asked for a BJ. She's currently wearing the bustier, as mentioned, along with a short black skirt, high-heels and black fishnet stockings. How do you respond? Give me a short-term and long-term on this one.

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Well it is obviously her

Well it is obviously her fault because she's dressed like a tramp and you have to expect that sort of behavior from men if one goes out dressed like that.  (please note the dripping sarcasm)

It seems that you are implying that by dressing a certain way that she is "asking for it" and if she doesn't want that sort of attention she should put on more clothing.  How about someone for once puts the blame where it fucking belongs on the asswipe who actually did something wrong instead of the innocent?  Maybe I am just carrying a little baggage here with me but this is just really wrong. 

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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Wasn't my point, I'll

Wasn't my point, I'll explain below.
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short and long of it

The guy is in the wrong.  Regardless of whether or not I know that there are abusive assholes out in the world neither will I personally nor will I recommend that anybody else cater to their existence.

This is just a shrunk down version of the idea that somebody deserves to be harassed/raped/abused/etc.  So short term = the guy is in the wrong.  Long term = guy is in the wrong.

Of course, on the flip side I also believe that prostitution should be legal, but that's probably for another discussion.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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Ok, let's take a step back

Ok, let's take a step back here. I'm not insinuating that the woman is in the wrong. You are right, the man is wrong regardless of the circumstances. It doesn't matter if she's naked or dressed like a nun. That also isn't my point though.

Quick analogy: If you cross the street, at a crosswalk, and someone hits you and you die, the driver is at fault. Right? Now, if the pedestrian was aware of their surroundings they *may* not have been hit. For this reason, we teach our children to "look both ways before you cross the road". Do we teach them not to look when they are at a crosswalk? of course not! We want them to be safe even when *legally* they are supposed to be safe.

I think TFI's response, as well as my initial response to this thread ( in part ) is a defensive instinct. My initial thought when you presented that question to TFI is: I would be upset, I would also tell my daughter that she is not allowed to wear that kind of clothing in downtown ever again. Short-term this *might* make her safer. She becomes less of a target for the a$$wipes of the world, and I sleep better thinking that my daughter might be safer. I'd probably also give thought to having my daughter point the guy out so I could teach him some manners. Long-term I would agree, we need to change society to a place where men aren't pigs.

So I agree in that, short-term = the guy is in the wrong. long-term= the guy is in the wrong. What can I now DO to keep my daughter from being a victim? Short-term I cannot change the way some of society looks at women, therefore in order to keep my child safe I will ask her to comply with my wishes and dress more conservatively. Long-term I'm gonna march around the capitol with a sign that reads, "Women are people too!!" and hope that someone takes notice. The short-term answer might keep her safe, the long-term answer might keep her great-great-grandchildren safe.

Does that make sense?

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RE: "What can I now DO to keep my daughter from being a victim?"

RE: "What can I now DO to keep my daughter from being a victim?"

Braz Jiu Jitzu




Just like her mom..





"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice..."   Lenny Bruce
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I like the idea bubbaz, but

I like the idea bubbaz, but even the best of martial artists are not infallible. Why not make the person you love less of a target? If the changing clothing thing won't work, change the area in which you let your children spend time. My next thought is an adult escort wherever you go, I can't imagine that's a popular option all around.
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Fear dont scare me...

Fear doesnt scare me...


"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice..."   Lenny Bruce
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When I was in my early 20's...

... I used to take the subway home from work to the subway station near the Port Authority bus station, and walk home from there.  I would be dressed conservatively in work clothes, below the knee skirts and low-heeled pumps.  Nevertheless I was often approached by recruiting pimps, who apparently haunt the bus station, hoping to prey on runaways.  I was 22 or 23, but looked younger, I suppose, so my presumption was they thought I was a runaway.  Although why anyone would wear those kinds of clothes if she didn't have a job that required them is beyond me.  (This kind of makes me think that sexual predators have no fashion sense, and prey on women DESPITE the way they are dressed, not BECAUSE of it.)  Sexual predators target women who are young and in desperate circumstances; I imagine runaways and street kids are particularly vulnerable, and are therefore, targeted.  I was approached when I was near Port Authority not because of how I was dressed, but because I was in an area where there are lots of runaways: desperate and vulnerable young women with few resources. 
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Yep

Not once, but twice, I have been walking down State Ave,  in the daylight hours, and right in front of Community Youth Serices had single, mid-forties aged men try to convince me that I needed a ride to  downtown (an entire two blocks away). I am 31 but often get told I look much, much younger and, during my work, people often confuse me with a "street kid".  I believe I was wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt on one of the occasions, and the other, baggy jeans and a tanktop.

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Thank you for sharing that.

Thank you for sharing that. Unfortunately that doesn't make me feel any better about having teenagers downtown. That makes me think that they really need to NOT be downtown ever. So yeah, forget the clothing, I would forbid my daughter from being downtown without an adult escort. I don't care if she knows antarctican taekwon-do, and dresses like a penguin, I would not feel comfortable with her being downtown in that environment. There are plenty of other places to shop and hang out in this city.

And let's face it, in reality here folks, we can try to make society a better place, but there will ALWAYS be the perverse A44wipes that are going to behave like this towards women. So yes we should strive to make society safer, but we cannot lock them all up, and we sure as shit can't rehabilitate them all. So now what?

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I don't think it really

I don't think it really matter where you are - you can be a target.  For crying out loud look at the place where *I* am dealing with a creep.  Am I making myself a target somehow? 

How about Target?  Is Target safe?  I had a man who was watching me while I was checking out (I was *not* wearing a bustier and I also had Owen with me) and while I was getting Owen into the car he pulled his truck around and up beside me and while it was running kept talking about how hot I was and wanted my number.  I told him that my husband wouldn't appreciate that and he rambled on about something and then finally left.  It was nerve wracking and I just concentrated on getting Owen into the car as fast as I could so I could at least get myself locked into my car. 

Of course you want to keep your children as safe as possible but you can't be there all the time. 

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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I didnt know they had a Target downtown..

A harrowing tale..

I didnt know they had a Target downtown..


"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice..."   Lenny Bruce
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They don't.  Norm was

They don't.  Norm was saying that there are other places to shop or go that are safer and I was just pointing out that that is not true.

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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I know OG..


I was just being a wizenheimer..


"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice..."   Lenny Bruce
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I realize it can happen

I realize it can happen anywhere OG, but if this is a problem downtown ( the girl with the pink hair said it had happend more than once ) and a girl or two on the blog admit to weird guys asking if they want a ride somewhere, I'm inclined to go with the lesser of evils. I haven't ( yet ) heard of women in target being propositioned for sex, so at this point I'm thinking that's the lesser of evils. Better yet, if she wants to go shopping she can go with her Mom. Hang out with friends? I'll build an f'ing rec room with all kinds of fun stuff in there and tell her I won't ever go in there. At least she's under my roof and can get to me if the shit hits the fan. Who does she have downtown? At Target? Nope, not ready to let go yet. Of course, considering she's not even born I think I have a little bit more time to treat her like a child Tongue out
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Damn OlyBlog.  Ate my long

Damn OlyBlog.  Ate my long comment.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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HA!! It's obviously a sign!!!

HA!! It's obviously a sign!!!
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Whateva!

Whateva!

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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Okay I am going to try this

Okay I am going to try this again.  I am glad that you think that the Target parking lot incident is the lesser of two evils but until you've been put in that situation maybe you should think before you comment.  I'm sorry but for me it was likely just as frightening as the experience for the girl down town who was solicited.  And the first part of my comment was referring to the situation that is going on at my *church*.  But maybe it's all because I dress like such a hoochie.

I am feeling frustrated, Norm, because you seem to think you have it all figured out how we woman folk can keep safe and you are just wrong.  I have no doubt your intentions are good but I just don't think you are getting it.  If it were as easy as wearing the right clothes or staying away from certain areas that would be great!  But it's not.  Sexual assault/rape is not a crime of passion.  It's a crime of hate and rage.  I believe the same goes for sexual harassment.  It's a power trip.  A bully situation. 

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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take it from the women

Well said OperaGirl.

The problem with issues like these, Norm, is that we as males rarely if ever actually get to witness this behavior, so we absolutely need to ask women for their experiences.  I've lost more than one male friendship because the way they acted around me and the way they acted around my female friends was like watching alternate dimensions.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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I understand what you are

I understand what you are saying, but I want to fix it. I feel like I just came across a person who isn't breathing and people are telling me that CPR is the wrong thing to do and I should just wait and hope they come back to life on their own.
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almost

Analogically it's probably closer to coming across a person who isn't breathing and people are telling you blowing on the person's face is the wrong thing to do.

"It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing."
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duplicate post

Don't mind me.  I'm just a lil'ole former duplicate post.  Move along now...nothing to see here.
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I'm sorry. I know you are

I'm sorry. I know you are being put through a difficult situation at church, and I understood what you said, I just didn't acknowledge it. I also shouldn't have made a comparison to your incident vs. another woman's incident. Again I'm sorry. I am quite sure all of your problems stem from you dressing like a hoochie.........especially at church. Foot in mouth

I'm sorry that you are feeling frustrated, if it makes you feel any better I'm frustrated too. I really don't believe I have it all figured out, if I had it all figured out I wouldn't be playing the masochist on this damn thread.
My intentions are good, but I'm afraid that I do get it. I just don't like it.

What you all are saying is that there is no f'ing way that any of this can be prevented....which gives me very little hope. I guess Carlin had it right, we are just one F'ed up species.
Anyone know what criteria you have to meet to get a vasectomy?
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nope

"What you all are saying is that there is no f'ing way that any of this can be prevented....which gives me very little hope."

The prevention comes in holding each other accountable for acting like creeps.  If we know somebody is abusive we don't keep quiet and we don't accept the abuser in our society.  If we find out a dear friend sexually assaulted a person we don't stick up for the dear friend.  We as a social network must decide that this kind of behavior is not okay.  There's still a large portion of our society that believes a husband cannot rape a wife, that it is always consensual.  A lot of this of dealing with this is coming to terms with our past and looking at how it still affects our present.  For example?  The fairly common tradition of the Bride's family paying for the wedding; it's dowry modernized.  Sometimes we really do have to cast off the shackles of what came before.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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It's not about downtown at all

The only time I can remember that I haven't been harrassed by some creepy guy at least once a month since I was around twelve years old was when I shaved my head. Maybe men assumed I was a lesbian, so they finally stopped bothering me? I don't know. Or maybe I just didn't look that good without hair.  In any case,  I've lived in four states so I don't think it's anything about downtown olympia that makes girls unsafe. 
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Wait! So it had something to

Wait! So it had something to do with your physical appearance? Get out of town! I could have sworn we all came to the conclusion that if you dressed like a "hoochie-mama" it had no bearing on whether or not a guy acted sleazy toward you. So all I need to do is shave my kids head.
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Wait! Why stop at shaving

Wait! Why stop at shaving her head?  You might want to cover her face, and her head, too, to make absolutely sure she doesnt appear the least bit sexually attractive.  Actually, Norm, my point was that the simple fact that I am female has always created situations where I am harassed by men.  The shaving of my head was a drastic measure that created a question of my gender identity or sexual orientation. For that brief time, the harrasment stopped. It wasnt about how I dressed, it was about whether or not I appeared female. 
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I was actually joking,

I was actually joking, although with the rest of this thread it really didn't fit in well I suppose. I'm seriously reconsidering having children at this point. I've always had friends that asked me how I could ever bring a child into a world like this, today I asked myself the same question.
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having a kid...

...invests you in trying to make a better tomorrow.  And there's nothing like waking up to their smile.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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And there's nothing like

And there's nothing like waking up to their smile.

Oh I *so* ditto that!  <3

 

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

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oops

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Norm,

Please, really think about this for a second. What sounds better? People staying away from downtown due to some bad situations and perceptions, or, people flocking downtown because of them. We need MORE kids, of all ages, hanging out on the streets downtown.

I can remember months ago you talking about "reclaiming" downtown. So do it. Talk to everyone you know. If there really is a safety issue downtown for certain populations, and I believe there is, then more community presence is what we need. Drug dealers should not be welcome, because they prey on the homeless, feed off of them like parasites. Same with pimps.

People who say they don't go downtown because of A, B, or C, are not a part of any kind of solution, and, in my opinion, make things worse.

"Everybody who imitates Christ is a fake Jesus." –Alan Watts

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I was still on the

I was still on the hypothetical, but I think you are right. The urge for over-protection of my *make-believe* child was a little strong. I think what gets to me the most, is what will society do to protect one another. We saw the video that secret communique posted about the student getting taser'd, and all of the students rallied to protect their students from "police brutality", yet we look back to a few months ago when the homeless man in seattle was assaulted and nobody helped him. Lots of people saw it happening and just watched until the homeless man had to shoot the guy. So taking the child out of the equation I think that your thought on this is right.

Oh, btw I still want to reclaim downtown, I'm just waiting for the weather to dry up a bit.

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Revolution - PPD (Rain)

Revolution - PPD (Rain)
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I agree, the area probably

I agree, the area probably has much to do with it. Which makes me a little afraid for downtown. I also know, deep down, that dressing more conservatively won't necessarily change anything. That's why I included so many "mights" and "maybes". We can't protect our children 100% of the time.

I would hope that changing her appearance would at least lessen her chances of victimization, and as her parent ( fyi I'm NEVER having a daughter ) she is in my charge until she is 18. As I also mentioned above, this isn't just for her safety, it's also my peace of mind. If she were raped, and I never told her to wear more conservative clothing I would kick myself, if she were raped and she was wearing conservative clothing I would still feel terrible, and blame myself for not doing more somehow, but at least I wouldn't have the clothing issue on my mind on top of everything else. I realize that is selfish of me but hey, I can be selfish at times, and considering I have no daughter it doesn't really matter now does it?

Do you think that downtown caters to pedophiles, pimps etc? I have never heard of anyone being propisitioned in downtown, maybe I run with a different crowd though. If this isn't a typical problem, then why was this girl chosen?

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Predators look for vulnerable women

I think what is important is the perception of vulnerability.  Sometimes the location, even in a very safe area like downtown Olympia, plays a part in the perception of vulnerability.  I think young women who happen to be near bus stations are more likely to be approached, because predators may think they're runaways, who are very vulnerable.  Runaways often don't have access to shelter, food, money, ways to communicate, and they may be avoiding law enforcement, so they may not tell the authorities if someone mistreats them.  They also may not know anyone who will protect them.  Predators target young women like this, so being in an area where runaways tend to congregate makes it more likely that a young woman will be approached.  I don't think downtown is unsafe.  I believe I've heard that statistically, the Capital Mall is more unsafe than downtown Olympia.
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snickers and seriousness

"I would hope that changing her appearance would at least lessen her chances of victimization, and as her parent ( fyi I'm NEVER having a daughter ) she is in my charge until she is 18."

Here are some sexual assault statistics for you, Norm.  As you can see you would have more to worry about from family members, friends and acquaintances than allowing your daughter to walk downtown.  While what a woman wears may be arousing/bothersome to you and sex is implicitly an aspect of rape, the real issues are power and anger (patriarchy and misogyny).  Making yourself feel better by requiring or disallowing certain outfits is all that such a requirement would do.  On the other side, you'd also be expressing your dominance over your child's developing image and expressionism.  Aka, you'd be just another brick in the wall.

Just because the State gives the parent the control doesn't mean it should be used in an uneducated way.

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"
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Who says I'm going to let

Who says I'm going to let family members near my kids? I have some interesting family, they won't be alone with many of them.

So, can anyone say, for sure, that clothing has nothing to do with being targetted?

As for displaying my dominance. Damn right! The whole of society is going to do it I may as well get her used to it. Try holding a job and dressing with the outfit I described above. She can display her developing image and experessionism when she turns 18 thanks.

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