I recently viewed the film Lake Placid, a story about a large croc terrorizing a lake in Maine. It was, to be polite, a really bad bit of cinema, but there were some parts that I found chilling. You know, I almost drowned while swimming in a lake in central Maine, and now I have to wonder ... but, back to the main point.

For openers, the lake in the movie is called "Black Lake" (EEEEYOw! Too close to home!) but the title is Lake Placid. Hmm. two names for one lake. Just like us. OK, so officially our lake is called "Capitol Lake" but we all know it is really "The Fetid Lake of Doom" or FLOD. And why?

Because the bloody body of water is filled with caimans, that's why! And, like the movie, few people really believed such large reptiles could dwell in such a domesticated lake.

In the movie and in real life, the enormous reptiles had a human protector, in our case a "caiman master" (he knows who he is, and so do we). Actually, now that I think about it, the real life situation currently taking place with Olympia's caimans is far more horrifying than this movie.

On another note, I have learned through my sources that caimans like to keep a porcupine on hand. They pluck the quills to use as toothpicks to clean their ample sets of sharp teeth after dining on FLOD nutrias and ... er ... other nearby meat products. After the porcupine has been cleanly plucked, the last caiman to do so gets to consume the little critter as a special treat. As a protective measure, many local porcupines have been filling themselves with helium, so they can float above caiman reach. It's an odd sight to behold, floating porcupines. You can see them mostly around the southern end of Tumwater.