In 2001 I had compiled some columns called "Twisted Conundrums" and they were published in The Stranger for a season. Or at least I think they were. I never saw them in print but the publisher sent me checks. Later, I gathered them in a book (possibly still available at the Danger Room). Anyway, I'll be sharing a few of them here in OlyBlog. The first one is an all-time classic question. I have probably posed this choice to well over 100 people in the last few years. Here goes:

You are driving down a quiet residential street, not really paying attention to the road. You realize moments too late that a car has stopped in front of you and even though you slam on the brakes, your front bumper manages to lightly tap the rear of the other car. Not real hard, but enough to give the other driver a bit of a jolt.

This other car is big. It has evil looking fins. It is a black car with tinted windows. The driver's door opens and as you see the leg step out, you notice that instead of a foot, this car's owner has a cloven hoof. As he approaches you, you just know that this being is not of this earth.

He taps on your window, you roll it down. "Okay," he says in a sweetly menacing way, "This is only a minor infraction, so I shall make your curse a mildly amusing one. For the rest of your life, whenever you laugh, you can sound either like the character of Renfield as played by Dwight Frye in the 1931 classic motion picture Dracula, starring Bela Lugosi, or, the character of the Penguin as played by Burgess Meredith in the hit TV series Batman (1966-1968)."

So as you think about it, you know that whenever you go to a movie, or a restaurant, or a party, whenever you laugh out loud people will stop and stare at you. As Renfield, your laugh would sound something like "Huh-hnnn-hnnn-hnnn-heeeen," with a psychopathic edge. The Penguin sounds like, "Wa-waaaak-waaaak-waaaak-qwak."

"Choose one," he demands. You know that refusing to do so is not an option.

Which one would you pick? Renfield or Penguin

More Twisted Conundra here.