Tangle!: See Screech! Snap! Tangle! Wrap! Tie! Zip! Grab!

Tap! Tap!: A man drumming his finger on the rim of a glass containing liquid at the halfway point, arguing with his friend over whether or not the glass is half empty or half full. As he does this, singing dogs are flying over his head. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))
See also: Whump! Tap! Tap! Smack!
See also: Wink. Tap! Tap! Wink
See also: Wink Wink Tap! Tap! Wink Wink
See also: Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Tap Tap Tap Tippity Tap Tap

Tap Tap Tap:
(1) A very flattened Morty Dog on an electric typewriter, making a new script for the story. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))
(2) A man in the future taps a stick on a refrigerator (which acted as a cryogenic chamber for a Morty Dog) to see what it is made of. (Natural Functions (1986))
See also: Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Tap Tap Tap Tippity Tap Tap

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap: A writer types on his typewriter night and day. (Morty Comix 1853))

Tear: See Pull! Fold Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Spindle Shred Mutilate! Shred! Tear! Rip! Mangle

Thud!:
See Bang! Thud! Bang! Thud! Jab!
See Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Thud!
See Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap
See Pop! Thud! Ignite
See Smak! Thud Bonk!

Thud Pow! Pow! Pow!: Twelve disciples in search of a savior walk the planet. They are invulnerable to harm, even when knives are thrown at them (a THUD sound is made as knife hits and bounces off a disciple) and guns are fired at them (POW! x 3, and the bullets bounce off). (Storm Warnings (1986))

Thud! Zip! Zip! Zip! Zip! Zip! Zip!: A meteorite shot to Earth by the Big G for the sole purpose of hitting a Morty Dog backfires when Morty jumps away at the last minute, enabling the meteorite to hit the high end of a teeter-tooter (Thud!) in turn launching the heads of the holier-than-thou guys and a pathetic-slimey-collective-soul-man, who were formerly on the low end of the teeter-tooter, back at the Big G (Zip!, etc.). (Cartoon Loonacy 9 (1986))

Thump!:
(1) A Morty Dog pounds the pulpit while playing the role of demagogue with a group of Republicans. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))
(2) Mukey the Mutant Membrane falls from the sky and lands (Thump!) in front of a Morty Dog in an attempt to have a showdown. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))

Thunk!:
(1) A rolled up newspaper is thrown through a slot in the door for a postal clerk who has barricaded himself in his house. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))
(2) Three alien abductees have overpowered their captors and land the ship (THUNK!) in Roswell, N.M. just to have some fun with it. (Modernman 3 (1999))
(3) A Morty Dog hits the ground after falling from a jail cell perched high on a pole. (Starhead Presents 1 (1986))
(4) Prince Morty: "To be, or bite the big one, what is the answer? Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms and paws against a sea of troubles, and by opposing ... end them. To die, to sleep-- no more; And by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- to sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub ... for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause; There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, th' oppressor's wrong, the asshole's contumely, the pangs of despised love, the law's delay, the I.R.S., and the spurns that patient merit of th' unworthy takes ... [Morty produces a dagger and points it at his heart] ... when he himself might his quietus make with a bare bodkin? [Morty pauses, the knife trembles] Who would fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveller returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather put up with the pains in the ass we have, than inherit new ones? [Morty plunges the dagger into the frame of the doorway where he stands, THUNK!] Thus conscience does make cowards of us all ... and thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er by the pale cast of thought, and enterprises of great pitch and moment with this regard their currents turn awry, and lose the name of action ...
(Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
(5) Prince Morty, standing behind the praying King, decides not to kill the monarch ("Up sword, and know thou a more horrid hent") until later. Morty then jabs the sword (THUNK) into the King's crown, which is on a nearby table. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
(6) Thinking the noise behind a curtain is made by the King, Prince Morty stabs the source of the noise (THUNK!), only to discover it is Phelonious, the nosy old man. Says Morty, "Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell. I took thee for thy better, take thy fortune. Thou find'st to be too busy is some danger." (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
See also: Click! Pow! Thunk!
See also: Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap
See also: Poink! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Thunk! Clunk! Plinka Plinka Plinka
See also: Poink! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Thunk! Clunk! Plink!
See also: Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!
See also: Zip! Thunk!

Thunk! Doink!: A Morty Dog has blasted a hole in a wall that has confined a city for generations. As a crowd gathers around the new opening, Morty addresses them.
Morty: "Look! There's a real world out here! You guys have been miserable all your lives! Now is the time to start over again! Begin anew! Step outside these walls and breathe the air of freeeedom!"
Crowd: "Troublemaker!"
"Sit and spin on it, dog!"
"Radical!"
A can thrown at Morty bounces off his head (THUNK!)
Morty: (Thought balloon to self) "My, how pleasant."
Crowd: "Go back where you came from!"
"Let us rebuild the wall!"
A brick thrown at Morty bounces off his head (DOINK!)
(Cranium Frenzy 10 (2003))

Thunk! Thunk!:
(1) Made when a Morty Dog sticks two forks into his forehead in an effort to have "horns." (APC Tales 5 (1985))
(2) A Morty Dog taps the bald pate of a right-wing nut who has approached him in an effort to be fitted for a toupee. (Olympia 3 (2004))

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!: A Morty Dog smashes fleas with his fist on a bar counter. (Cranium Frenzy 8 (1995))
See also: Zow! Thunk Thunk Thunk

Thunk Thunk Zip! Zip! Zip! Thunk: Three knives come out of nowhere and impale the back of a small-time crook while being interviewed by Arnie Wormwood, P.I. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Thwart!: When a Morty Dog attempts the one-handed eye poke on a government agent, the agent places his hand at a 90 degree angle at the bridge of his nose, preventing the tips of Morty's fingers from reaching their intended targets-- thus the "Thwart" sound effect. (Cranium Frenzy 10 (2003))

Tic tic tic:
(1) Made by a "Sleaze Meter," a device much like a Geiger Counter, except it is used to detect sleazy people. (Amused To No End (1986))
(2) "The government produced sophisticated little bombs which were implanted in each cranium. The devices had sensors that could detect any 'impure' thoughts from the conscious mind-- at which time the bomb would detonate (tic tic tic). Here's some examples of 'good thinks': 'I wonder what's on TV?' 'Will the Yankees beat the Red Sox?' 'It's time to mow the lawn.'" (Cranium Frenzy 4 (1983))

Tick Tick Tick: Batum Schrag, the man who lives deep in the heart of the planet Saturn, looks at his watch and realizes, "I'm scheduled to bite the Big One in about one minute!! Hee Hee!" (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Tick Tick Tick Tick: The sound of a timing device in a letter bomb, sent by Mukey the Mutant Membrane to a Morty Dog. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick: See Grab! Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick

Tie!: See Screech! Snap! Tangle! Wrap! Tie! Zip! Grab!

Tippity: See Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Tap Tap Tap Tippity Tap Tap

Toss!:
(1) With his assistant Snively at his side holding a box of meteors, the Big G selects one and tosses it at Earth in order to nail a Morty Dog, "Watch this, he'll never know what hit him!" (Cartoon Loonacy 9 (1986))
(2) The cartoonist TOSSes the lifeless husk of a Morty Dog over his shoulder, "He's used up! Obsolete! Time to move on." (Mukey the Mutant Membrane (1996))
See also: Grab! Rrrip! Toss! Smack Crunch Crunch
See also: Zip! Toss!
See also: Zow! Zip Toss! Bungala Bungala Bungala Zoom Boing Zoop Zip Whump!

Toss! Scarf! Chomp! Chew! Digest!: Calling them "handburgers," Morty the Dog TOSSes the hands of his creator into his mouth and consumes them. (Ultra Klutz 12 (1987))

Toss! Slurp!: "Coming to a theater near you! Revenge of the Slugs! See terrorized home owners attempt to kill slugs by throwing them on the road! [Larry:] "Disgusting!" TOSS! [Slugs:] "Ieee!" "Aargh!" "Yiii!" Cringe as the slug slime exacts retribution! [A pickup truck slides right at Larry as he stands on his front porch. The truck driver screams:] "Too slippery! Can't stop!" [The locked wheels on the slug slime make a SLURP noise] Spills, chills, horror, terror, don't miss it! (Larry of McCleary and Other Characters (1989))

Toss! Toss!: See Squirt! Pop! Pop! Poink! Poink! Sniff Blat! Sniff, Toss! Toss!

Toss! Wham! Splat! R-r-rip!: A certain cartoon caveman TOSSes a bowling ball down a bowling alley, but Arnie Wormwood lands on the ball (WHAM!) and in turn a robot-like being lands on top of Arnie (SPLAT!) causing Wormwood to R-R-RIP! out of his skin, revealing his inner dog self. (Limbolympia (1983))

Toss! Zip!: Prince Morty contemplates the skull of Yorick ("Alas ... poor Yorick") and asks Horatio, "Dost thou think Alexander looked a this fashion i' th' Earth?" "E'en so," Horatio replies. "And smelt so?," asks Morty, "Pah!" He then TOSSes the skull and it ZIPs away. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))

Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!: Laetentes throws his sword at Prince Morty (TOSS! ZIP!). It pins one of Morty's ears to a post (THUNK!). The Prince removes the sword (POINK!) and SNIFF SNARFs the tip and realizes it has been poisoned and his time is limited, so he switches swords with Laetentes, "Let us trade swords for 'sport,' old man." A violent and intense swordfight follows (SWIK, etc.), resulting in Morty JABbing Laetentes in the rear end, to which the latter remarks, "I am justly killed with mine own teachery." (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))

Trip!: See Sproing! Oing! Boing! Trip! Pfpft! Poompf!

Tromp Tromp Leap, Last Jump, Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggh: A small army of Stanley's former selves catch up to him on the edge of a cliff. They all jump back into his body, causing him to lose his balance and fall over the edge. (One Way Flight to Anywhere But Here (1977))

Tromp! Tromp! Tromp!: A Morty Dog is the victim of a stampede of his adoring cult followers. (Rise and Fall of Morty the Dog (1987))

Tug!: See Pull! Tug!

Tug! Squish!: A man TUGs on a boot, only to hear a disgusting SQUISH sound as his foot settles in, eliciting a "Huh?!" Cartoon lines denoting a foul smell accompany the sounds. Meanwhile, his cat stands nearby with an evil smile and a halo over his head. (Natural Functions (1986))

Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug Tug: A man pulls on a nose hair, but the hair just keeps coming out in one long strand. As he tugs, his curly mop of hair on top of his head gets smaller and smaller. When the nose hair is finally out, the man is completely bald. This is solved by placing the pile of (singular) hair back on his head, restoring his original appearance. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))

Tug! Zip! Poink!: A shaft of light from the Big G's bathroom in his cloud house is hitting Earth, right in the face of a Morty Dog, who pulls the shaft down (TUG!) and reels the whole thing to our planet (ZIP!) taking the last bit of light of with it (POINK!) and leaving the BIG G to brush his teeth in the dark. Morty rolls the shaft up into a little ball and then swallows it, "Down the hatch! A light meal, n'yuk, n'yuk!" (Rise and Fall of Morty the Dog (1987))

Twack!: A chiropractor-turned-guru swiped the Shroud of Turin and towell-snaps it on hapless victims in the locker room at the Vatican. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Twang! Twang! Twang!: A Morty Dog declares, "My feet are killing me!" while his toes, each with a little face and arms, yell "Ready, aim, fire!" and shoot arrows at the dog. (Sketchman 2 (1986))

Twirl Twirl: See Yank! Twirl Twirl R-r-rip! Snap Zip Bonk!