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Submitted by dr on Sat, 09/27/2008 - 6:12pm.
The final presidential debate will be a hot dog eating contest.

At last we will see who is more full of it.
»

Hmmm

Weiner takes all, eh? I'm sure it will be a frank discussion. Personally, I wouldn't relish the job myself, but we'll see who can cut the mustard and who has to do his homework and ketchup. One thing is for sure, whoever wins will have to really move his buns to meet this economic crisis.
»

But first...

...we've got to grill them on the issues.
»

Alright Steveni

Put down the pun and step away from polite society.

This is your 1st warning.

»

Your charges are cooked up

but I'll probably fry anyway. It nevers pans out for my sort when the heat is on our back. But first I'll contact my attorney, Barbara Quentin (known as "Barbie Q." by those in the know) before I surrender.
»

Please Steveni

Step back from the abyss. Recent advances in humor have developed effective treatments for the heartbreak of punditry. Think of your loved ones.

This is your 2nd warning.

»

OK, you win

I'll admit I mayo stepped over the line as far as the tolerance of decent folk go, but in my defense my comments are not as half-baked as you might think. I'm done. Well done, in fact.
»

Jobs are coming; economic recovery is nigh!

Let's face it, things are tough all over.
But where I live they are putting in a new Wiener King. They applied for, and got, some very lucrative long-term tax breaks from the local city council. Thankfully the city council is pro-business. One of them owns a mortuary. Some think it odd she is often seen near the community water facilities in the middle of the night with a big bucket of poison; but we who are pro-business understand that times are tough and you have to do whatever you can to stir up interest from the consumer sector. Sometimes it's not enough to wait for a market to rebound- you have to stimulate it.

Anyway, the Wiener King will bring in a lot of jobs to the community: managers, cooks, parking lot clean up crew. We will need those jobs to stimulate the economy. And as soon as the newly employed see a few Wiener sized paychecks some of that money will trickle down to others- as they buy bread, eggs, and super size value meals.

Some critics claim WK wages are tantamount to slavery; But it is hard to seriously counter the WK corporate claim that "WK prices are so low... it raises the standard of living in any community we stake a claim to. At WK you can get more for less. We are all about community. That is the American way."

WK corporate headquarters are in Brisbane, Australia.

-- Consumerism is Rampant; but Desire is Everywhere in Chains
»

Hot Doggerel

Groucho said, "Outside of a book a hot dog is a man's best friend; inside of a hot dog there are too many hog parts to be able to turn the page."

The existence of tofu based hot dogs beg the philosophical question, "what is a hot dog? What is the essence that defines the dog?"
This is the eternal question that plagues man, no matter how or by what example it is expressed.

-- Consumerism is Rampant; but Desire is Everywhere in Chains
»

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