Warning: If you are offended by me warning folks that content may not be suitable for all then please accept my apology.

Warning: Before you read any further, I want to let you know that I might type about eating animal products. If this offends then I apologize.

My current favorite food is the egg. I love the crap out of eggs. I love cooking eggs, too. They’re kind of magical. They can become so many things. Sure you can just fry ‘em. Or you can make ‘em into omelets. Cream cheese and steamed broccoli omelets. Sun-dried tomato and basil, garlic omelets. The list is endless.

Lately, I’ve been into making quiches. It’s pretty easy and it’s a tasty breakfast. I usually make mine at night and pop it in the fridge for tomorrow. Wanna try? Here’s how I do it.

First, pre-heat your oven. Temp? When in doubt, I go to “joy”. AKA The Joy of cooking. She says 375 degrees. Next get your ingredients out. Seven eggs, half cup of milk or so, some grated sharp cheddar, a bit of chopped onion and green pepper, 3 strips of bacon (or none if that pleases you), four calamata olives, two or three pinches of salt and pepper. This is my recipe. Add whatever you want…

Throw the onions and peppers in a hot skillet but just cook ‘em half way. Perhaps the one you’ve used for the bacon or not. Beat six eggs with the milk (or half and half) and add the cheese and salt and pepper. If you did use bacon, don’t over cook it. Just until the fat is “rendered”.

Next, grab one of those frozen pie crusts from your freezer. They come in twos from the “coop”. Take one out and put the other in a plastic bag knowing that it will be a bit freezer burned when you take it out. Separate the yolk from your last egg and brush (I usually use my fingers) the yolk all over the frozen pie shell then throw it in your hot oven (at this point, if you're me, you have to rinse off your hands 'cause the yolks on you). Let it chill in there for a few minutes until a big air bubble forms and you go “how the hell am I gonna get anything into bubbled pie shell?” Don’t worry.

And now comes the hard part. You’ve precooked the crust, the oven is hot. How do you get the egg mixture and the other stuff into the crust? Taking out the pie shell, filling it up and putting it back in doesn’t work. Either you can’t fill up your quiche all the way or you do and it spills all over the oven when you put it in.

Here’s what you do. Pull your oven rack out half-way. If you pull it out all the way, it may tilt when you push it back in because of the design of most ovens. Try your own oven if you don’t know what I mean. Pull the pie shell to the edge of the rack and lay in the bacon (or not) across the bottom. Add the onions and green pepper then fill the shell up with the egg mixture. I’ve found that it is easiest to pour the mixture from a big measuring cup (two cups size). Hopefully you’ve filled up the shell and left no room.

Finally, casually toss in the four calamatta olives. Why? They taste good and it’s fun to see how they fall. Then, cautiously and gently, push the rack in (don't forget to put your future quiche back to the middle of the rack) and close the oven door.

Cook for 25 to 30 minutes WITHOUT opening the door. Whatever you do, don’t open the oven door. It spoils the magic. Ok, you can peek at 25 minutes to see how its doing but don’t take it out until it’s a bit browned. Then let it cool after you take it out. It’ll sink down from an inflated, jiffy pop shaped thing to a pretty flat (I wish I could figure out how to make them stay inflated) quiche. Et voila. Total time to make and bake: 45 minutes. Bon apetit!