85 million years ago, on Tuesday, Thaddeus crawled out of the primordial ooze, scratched himself, ate a handful of dry dirt, and then went about his first day in the open air.

10.5 thousand years ago: Man emerged from the wilderness to apply for the first high interest payday loan. Sucker.

8 years ago: There were payday loan branches everywhere waiting. It was the apex of man. Ever afterwards there would be sure and steady decline.

Yesterday: Stock market tanks. Economy on verge of collapse. Too many Payday Loan storefronts, not enough cash. Price of Tulips skyrocket. Doom. Doom.
The fatal flaw in the theory of value exposed for all to see... but wait! What's that in your ear! A shiny Quarter! Remember to buy gifts in the shop on your way out, and tell your friends. I'll be here all week.